Saturday, July 01, 2006

The art of disconnecting the phone

I have been accused of a lot of things. Of the other mundane accusations, my friends have accused me of dreaming to take over the world. And my family has repeatedly accused me of doing nothing about that dream. But to that large and distressing list of accusations was added the sad fact I did not know how to disconnect the phone.

This was an understandably troublesome revelation. On first thoughts, I thought that this was a perfect explanation for my large phone bills. On the other hand, it was probably the reason why not many people call me twice. I very probably often say rather uncomplimentary things to people after disconnecting the phone.

But no. My charming accuser was infact accusing me of lacking the etiquette of disconnecting the phone with good manners. Apparently I disconnect the phone abruptly.

I was lost here. How do you possibly disconnect the phone slowly? I apparently just say "Bye" and disconnect the phone.Its not like a train farewell. You can't take people to the phone and then chat for a while with a chai cup talking about the weather. Then you can't amble along slowly with the train-like, gradually going for a jog along the window waving your arms franatically till the train disappears in all the steam, mist and the crowd of people defecating by the tracks. You just can't do that.

While this is a perfectly acceptable means of telecommunication, apparently this is not allowed when I am speaking to "her". To her, we need to end the conversation in a manner befitting the closeness. To make amends with immediate effect, I asked her to disconnect the connection this time. I ofcourse can not reproduce the conversation verbatim (due to threat of castration- which I still hold will be self defeating).

"So then Bye."
"Bye."
"..."
"..."
"Well..."
"Well what?"
"...Er.. Arn't you going to cut the phone?"
"Hmph! you are an idiot. "
CLICK!

I am not really sure if that was a conversation that I was meant to reproduce on the next conversation. These things are always so confusing.

In retort to my train metaphor, she says that even though the telephone disconnections might be more akin to the aeroplane goodbyes, yet the person in the plane ought to feel that someone on the ground might just be waving at the plane in the sky.

Do people wave at your plane?

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