Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Fiction 55 - The cobbler


He slipped on the shoe that the cobbler gave back.

"It will break?" She asked

"No madam, my guarantee." Said the cobbler.

"How much?"

"What you feel sir."

"No you tell."

"I can say twenty-five, but you give what you think is right."

"Okay take ten."

walking away, she said, "... should have given only five."



PS : My first attempt at Fiction 55 , inspired by Vinnie.


9 comments:

Jayati said...

nice. but protagonist is multi-gender? seriously. allow me to edit.

Velu said...

no no. Two people are there. He and her. It is his shoe and she wants to give only 5 rupees.

Please it is only 55 words.

Jayati said...

he is the mute spectator who puts on her shoes for her because she cant. got it. he should have paid the 20 extra rupees then.

Velu said...

uff !!

01. There are two people. He and her.

02. It is his shoe. He slips it on himself. Unassisted.

03. She insists that it will break.

04. He asks how much.

05. He gives ten Rs.

06. She says that should have given 5 Rs.

07. Cobbler has been pictured to remove gender confusions.

08. Next time will insist on group photo.

Vinnie said...

hey this is cool man, u've captured an interesting little scene n managed to bring out the typical middle-class husband n wife all in 55 words!

commendable i say! keep it up :)

P.S. LOLssssss at the comments..especially ur point # 8

Jayati said...

and a 55 word "cast" write up :) vinnie's story was self-explanatory incidentally :)

Velu said...

jayati : OMG! you are right. The 4th comment is also 55 words. I must be getting good at this thing. :)

Vinnie: Thanks. Glad you liked it.

Nandkishore Gitte said...

It happens only in india.......

thats to catchy.

Yup, I am back from sailing.
and enjoying to fuel the blog again.

Thnx for the comment.
Keep bloging.

Nandkishore Gitte
Life At Sea.
http://mylifeatsea.blogspot.com

muthu said...

hey nice story man.....

and a pretty cool blog..

hey do try out my own 55 fiction incidentally inspired by vinnie of course..... and post your comments...


http://average-everyday.blogspot.com/2009/04/short-stories-55-fiction.html