Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Urinating norms in India

It is like this. India has never been known to be a very healthy place. You hardly have to step out of your hotel before you are assaulted by people urinarting everywhere. This has led to great epidemics like bomb blasts and aircraft falling.

Now it is like this. More and more forigners are urinating on the side of the road sides of side roads. But they are not knowing. There are these bacterias that actually climb upstream through the stream of urine as it falls on the ground. These bacteria are waiting on the ground, waiting to pounce up the first stream of urine that is splashed on to them. After they swim up, they lodge themselves in the urine emiting appendege or crevice (as appropriate) and cause much sadness.

The method to avoid this sadness in India is as follows:

1) Urinate with all your might.
2) Urinate maximum for 2.35 seconds. These are very fast bacteria.
3) Stop urinating.
4) Hop over five jumps to the right.
5) Repeat step 1 to 4 till as long as required.

This procedure is not as easy as it appears. Please practice it a bit before you come to this (otherwise) beautiful country.

Issued in interest of interested public.

Regards,
Velu

3 comments:

plain jane said...

i realize i'm probably putting this under a very inappropriate post.. but what the heck.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ANUJ
HAPPEE BIRTHDAY TO U!
:D u can del this if its too stupid. love, piklu!!

Velu said...

thanks piklu! have fun.

Velu

Anonymous said...

Although your theory is very interesting and may be based in scientific reasoning to some degree, I can almost definatively prove the "sadness" you speak of was caused by a visit to your country by a man named Brian last year. He brings sadness everywhere he goes. I am sad right now due to his presence here at work. Stop all visits from Brian and your problems will be solved.